Ok let me get a little soft for a minute, for those who know me best they know that i was once a daddy's girl. until i lost touch with him when he moved to Italy when my mom and him got a divorce. But i speak to the man here and there whenever he feels on giving me a call which i enjoy because im always going to be a daddys girl at heart, but at times i hate those random phone calls. So pops has been calling latly because im suppose to be going to Italy after i graduate to chill for a little but in my mind i can only wonder how that will go. Will i spaze on him and let him know how disappointed i am at him for leaving or will i keep it in and say fuck it like i do with a lot of shit...Who knows. But after i had a convo with him and my mom today i started cleaning up thhe crib and Jay-Z and Beanie Sigel's Where have you been song came on which was such a couincidence because it was like the third song to come on while my ipod was on shuffle. That is my top Jay-Z song it just has so much meaning i swear with a few changes that would be a letter i would write to my father, its crazy. But shit happens i am the way i am because all the good and bad things that happened in my life so at the end of the day its all good. Just felt like sharing that lol my bad had to get deep for a minute.
I wanted to walk just like him
wanted to talk just like him
often momma said I look too much
and I thought just like him
wanted to drink Miller nips
and smoke Newports just like you
but you left me, now I'm goin to court just like you
I would say "my daddy loves me and he'll never go away"
bullshit, do you even remember May's my birthday?
do you even remember the tender girl
you turned into a cold young lady
with one goal and one plan
get mommy out of some jam, she was always in one
always short with the income
always late with the rent
You said that you was comin through
I would stay in the hallway (waitin)
always playin the bench (waitin)
and that day came and went
Fuck You! very much you showed me the worst kind of pain
but I'm stronger and trust me I will never hurt again
will never ask mommy "why daddy don't love me?
Why is we so poor?, why is life so ugly?
Mommy why is your eyes puffy?"
please don't cry everything'll be alright
I know it's dark now, but we gon' see the light
It's us against the world
we don't need him, right?
mommy drivin 6's now , I got riches now
I bought a nice home for both of my brothers now
we doin real good
we don't miss you now
see how life twists around?
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